When I was a child, my parents often argued in front of me. When they quarrel, they think that the child is a bystander, and they will seek my support and let me judge who is right and who is wrong. And I will regard myself as one of the parties involved, thinking that ‘I’ must be the trigger of the quarrel.
Since the child is in a weak position in the family relationship and does not have enough voice at home, the parents will not stop quarrelling because of my persuasion, so I accepted my parents using me as a messenger. I think this keeps the family relationship stable by avoiding direct arguments between them.
But as I grew up, I realised that this relationship was wrong and unhealthy, so I wanted to explore the role that children play in the family as a bridge of communication between parents, and the impact this behaviour has on children. I hope that this book can answer some questions for children facing the same situation and give warnings to parents who are doing this behaviour.